Back to reality

I am sitting in the waiting room at the car dealer while my car gets serviced and inspected. They told me two hours. They invited me to grab a beverage. Of course they were out of plain old bottled water so I was stuck with Aquafina flavor splash which truly tastes like berry flavored ass.

I was 8 minutes late getting here for my 9:30am appointment. Life things – appointments and meetings and things that start before noon – just aren’t that easy for me. Getting out of bed is a feat in general when it’s cool and comfy in your house and it’s hot and humid and gross outside and that leads to you feeling like “a wet noodle” as infusion center nurse Sherri likes to say. Getting here at all before noon is a miracle. Especially on infusion eve.

I think I felt better this time – after infusion 5. It’s hard to know what to attribute it to but it’s pretty much gotta be the medicine. The eating habits change was too early. And I guess this is a good time to note that I have fallen off the Wahls Protocol wagon. I find myself obsessing over every tiny thing I eat. Meals have become painful and I literally dread eating. I think about what I’m eating, what I’m about to eat, what I should eat and what I want but shouldn’t eat constantly. It’s exhausting.

I’ve decided to try to be better. Try to make good decisions. And try to be ok with it when I just don’t have time to drink a vat of vegetables in the morning because I have to get to my damn car inspected and I can’t choke them down that fast. So PB&J it was this morning and that is to be ok. I will make good decisions when I can. I will try to eat well. But I cannot obsess about it any more. I’m gonna hope it was the medicine that has me feeling better this time and perhaps after tomorrow it will give me a few more good weeks this month before my tank runs low again and I need a top off.

I feel like i need the top off today. I have that pre-infusion day headache I tend to get. I am so sleepy I can barely keep my head up and I slept a good solid 9 hours last night. I left the house today without makeup. I never do that on a work day. But I did it today. Something had to give this morning – many things had to give if I’m honest with myself and makeup just wasn’t on the list of critical items. That makes me happy and sad all at the same time.

Tell me what you think...