Monday was kind of a relief after an activity-free weekend. I slept. I slept a lot. On one hand, it felt just like it was what I should be doing. I felt tired and run down. The weather was cold and rainy. I just felt like I needed to lay low and lay low I did. When I showered on Monday it felt like I really needed to shower badly. My body was sore – maybe from lack of activity? It’s hard to tell. My body hurts all of the time so it’s hard to say if rest makes it better or worse. It’s hard to say if anything makes anything better or worse.
I guess you could say I’m having kind of a bad day. My attitude isn’t great. I went to work, I put on clothes, I tried. But it takes more energy than I really have sometimes. It scares me if I’m honest. I have to have this job. I have to keep the momentum going in the office. Things are going well. I just worry that I won’t be able to maintain the pace if I don’t start feeling better soon. I guess worrying doesn’t help but it’s hard not to worry I guess. All of this is hard.
I got blood work back with lots of flags – things that are high or low that aren’t supposed to be high or low. I hate that they post those results without giving you any explanation whatsoever about how bad or not bad those thing really are. I have an email in to Dr. Scott. We’ll see if he responds.
So that is how I feel today. I guess there are going to be days like this.