I am so…off. I’m just off tonight. The fucking bathroom isn’t finished. I clogged my drain in the basement and have to get it snaked tomorrow. I have work coming out of my ears. And nobody I can truly count on to get it done. I’m so off it’s like I’m jumping out of my skin. My legs suck today. I’m so tired I can’t see straight but goddamit it want to see who wins the goddamn Voice.

I’m pissed because I’m noticing things in the newly remodeled bathroom that aren’t perfect. I wanted it to be perfect. And it’s not. I wanted it to be done by now! And my contractor went MIA and isn’t even back in town until tomorrow. I’m afraid the floor isn’t angled right to drain properly. I know it has to be caulked to be finished but I’m not sure what that means exactly.

I hate my hair.
I feel fat.
I’m probably going to get my period – it’s time according to my pill pack.

Cheryl says I’m still mourning. I’m still dealing with the loss. I feel like I’ve lose everything. I know I haven’t.

But when is this feeling going to go away?
I honestly just want to cry. But I’m afraid I won’t stop.