So it’s been pretty obvious that I’ve been pretty openly struggling lately. Obsessing about the 21 days I’m supposed to get to feel good after my infusion. And wondering when it would kick the fuck in already…

Today I was starting to panic thinking this vacation was a terrible idea. I tried to ignore the heaviness in my legs all day but it was irrefutable. I felt unsteady all day. Then a few minutes ago I felt something weird. Like a surge of energy. Almost like a wave of…something. And when I stood up, I didn’t struggle to walk. It’s like all of the suddenly the medicine started working. I wonder if that’s even possible??

I just went up AND down the stairs to my second floor without holding on.

Maybe it’s a fluke. I hope not. I really hope this lasts.

I’m trying one other thing to combat my recent depression. I’ve been getting up early to feed the cats everyday – because cats are cats and they’ll only wait so long to get their damn breakfast. Then I typically go back to bed and sleep until 12/12:30pm. Sometimes even later depending on what I have to do that day and if it’s a shower day or not. By the time I get going I feel like there’s not much day left.

So today when I woke up at 8:38am to insistent paws on my face, I just stayed up. I caught up on the email I’d gotten overnight (way too many) and went to Giant Eagle – then to the pool with Foody for the afternoon. I didn’t feel great physically – but I think it helped me mentally.

We’ll see what tomorrow brings.