The Great Scott himself called me before I could call him this morning. As it turns out, my labs were completely normal. No UTI indicators at all. No indicators of any infection. Nothing.

I’m not sure what to do now. I thought I’d be getting some stronger antibiotics and would subsequently be getting stronger more operational meds that would get me on the road to feeling better but I’m not getting stronger meds because the labs say there’s nothing to treat. My “illness” that allowed me to give myself permission to lay in bed and rest for days on end is not an actual real thing but I still can’t move my legs.

I’m sincerely not sure what to do.

Do I try to push myself and see if I can somehow get magically stronger to kick myself out of this slump? Do I continue to rest and wait this out? In lots of ways I don’t really have much of a choice. I can’t move my legs. It kind of dictates my approach.

TGS was awesome on the phone. I really don’t give him enough credit because my experience with his staff has been so terrible but the man himself is kind of brilliant and respected and committed to science (as am I). So we jive well together.

He told me he wants to pack up my stuff and send me off for a second opinion at The Cleveland Clinic. He said he rarely finds himself at this juncture where the science doesn’t indicate a clear path forward and when he does, he prefers to have a second look at his thinking from a respected partner.

We talked about the options for this second opinion and I chose Cleveland Clinic after we discussed the pros and cons of each. I’m not going to share what he told me about the other options because I don’t want to cast doubt or shade on any other MS centers that others may be choosing for their care. This is an individual decision that we all have to make in cases like this and this is my individual decision.

TGS said it will likely be a one-time visit. He’ll continue to take the lead but this is data that will go into whatever we decide to do next. We may decide together to wait this out and see how I do after Round 2 of Lemtrada in six months. I might be leaning in that direction but I will certainly see what the good people in Cleveland have to say about all of this before making my decision about Round Two.

The decision about how to handle today is back in my court. I guess I have to listen to my body. I guess I have to wait this out and see what happens because I honestly don’t have another choice. If I had an infection somehow it made me feel better about my current reality of being kind of stuck in my second floor. I was ok with it if I was going to be treated for something and now suddenly it doesn’t feel so ok. I’m not sure why. I don’t have many other choice right now so I kind of have to find a way to be OK with it.

It’s a gorgeous sunny day today. It’s making me sad. But I guess I’ll have to find a way to enjoy it even with my current reality. I honestly just don’t know anymore.

I have to get my head right. And get back to trying to be optimistic. I don’t have any other choice!

So that’s what I’ll be doing.

I wanted to keep all of you lovely people updated since you’ve been so awesome and with me throughout the whole thing. I will keep you posted as things develop.