The waiting is the hardest part

I’m on my two month flush without DMT’s while I anxiously await approval for Ocrevus. Recent drama didn’t really make things easier (hello? Stress makes my symptoms worse. Good times). But now that’s over, I’m back to the waiting. 

It’s weird. I don’t feel as bad as I thought I would but I also feel extra slow. Like my body just wants to sleep and sleep, resting itself for what’s to come. Or something. My body has a mind of her own and she doesn’t always let me in on her logic. 

Transitions are tough on the new me. Transitioning from winter to spring is a big one. The sun is shining, the air is warmer and along with that comes a long list of transitional chores…swap out the clothes, put the coats and blankets away, clean the front porch, drag out the porch pillows and chimes, plant some flowers, drag out the garden hose and put it back on its holder for summer watering…spring cleaning in general. 

My mom was telling me yesterday that I obsess over too many things. Nothing is so important that it has to get done NOW. “Just do something, one thing, and it will make you feel better, Bethie, but stop letting all of it get to you,” my wise mother told me yesterday at Easter brunch at her house. “It will get done eventually,” she said. 

So this is my motto for my flush months…I’m gonna give it my some. Shout out to my awesome new friend Alicia for the find. She gets it. 

And yeah, I hired someone to do the spring cleaning. I’m not that crazy. The whole working thing is good for making such things possible and for providing the vacation days (like the one I took today) to “vacation” which now means something entirely different to me than it did before. Vacation used to mean adventure and fun and travel! Now it means resting without all the guilt. 

So I’m gonna give it my some. Cause that’s what I have to give. 

3 thoughts on “The waiting is the hardest part”

  1. Hope not going to work today lessened your stress. My Mom died at 90 years of age. In fact, her birthday was yesterday and she would have been 99. All us kids ????? still miss her. She was a character. She would have loved you.

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