I’m writing tonight from a nursing home where I’ve been recovering after a terrible accident where I somehow launched myself out of my sleeping chair and onto the ground in the process breaking my left leg in two places and my right heel is fractured.

I required surgery on my tibia and fibula where both a steel rod and a screw were used to repair the bone. My left leg is splinted using fiberglass and ace bandage to keep it in place while it heals. They tell me this healing process should take around six weeks. During that time I have to be very careful about putting weight on my legs. A seizure caused the fall in the first place but nobody knows what caused the seizure in the first place. I lack the ability or the strength to manage an inpatient rehab rehabilitation program, hence why the nursing home was the best place for me to come to get well and get light rehabilitation to enable me to function at home as best as I can.

I feel like my soul is being crushed with every minute I stay here. I don’t have any other options because it’s not safe for me to go home until I put a little bit of weight on my legs safely but this is literally my worst nightmare come true yet again. People here are very nice and caring but everyone is stretched so very thinly that it’s nearly impossible to get the care you require with an injury like this.

There are no doctors on staff here nor are there medical doctors in any nursing facility unlike my situation when I was in the trauma center at the hospital. They can only keep you in the hospital as long as it takes for you to be medically stable and then you have to go somewhere else until it’s safe for you to go home. This is healthcare and the way it works in our country with the complications of insurance and who’s gonna pay for what. It’s why having a complex medical condition like multiple sclerosis is 100 times harder than it should be even with the illness itself. Trust me the disease itself is no picnic then  add  all of this on top of it and it’s a mountain of suck and complexity that I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy,

I’ve decided that I will be heading home tomorrow one way or another. I’ve been on my back for long enough. How a woman who can’t walk or even stand up breaks both of her legs is anybody’s guess but somehow I’ve done just that.